


Detemination

by catidiot, MochiofDoom



Category: Undertale
Genre: Bone Dry Puns, Humor, Multi Chapter, Other, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5257190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catidiot/pseuds/catidiot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochiofDoom/pseuds/MochiofDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking at the looming horror of the Tem village, and the bad time that was to come, Sans was filled with detemination.</p><p>Sans relocates his hotdog stand to the Tem village, not realizing the horror he would have to face in the weeks to come. Humor fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Detemination

Sans had finally found the monsters who could match up with his god-awful skeleton humor. Every day, Papyrus complained about his bone-dry jokes. But from what he has heard about the Tem Village, they would be more then capable of handling his amazing jokes. Why, do you ask, was he talking about the Temmie's? Well, it all started out on one fateful day...

"SANS, YOU LAZY BONES, GET BACK TO YOUR STATION!" A voice shot from across Grillby's, and as Sans turned around, he saw his younger brother, Papyrus trucking his way towards him. Sans gave him a large grin and chuckled.

"I'm on my union regulated break."

"BUT YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING FOR HUMANS! AND CUSTOMERS!!"

"aw, what's wrong with five minutes spent at grillby's?"

"YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR THREE HOURS!" Papyrus yelled boisterously right next to him, drawing attention from the whole restaurant, even Grillby himself, who glared at them... Well, as much as a virtual... Hothead can glare.

"hey, it's not like we've had any business in weeks, the last time was from napstablook, though how he could even eat it is beyond me." Papyrus tried to frown, but his eternal smile on his face made it look quite painful. As soon as he realized it wasn't doing much, he quickly slipped back into his old grin.

"WELL BROTHER, WHAT CAOULD THE GREAT PAPYRUS DO TO SOLVE THIS DILEMMA?" He cackled wildly, reminding Sans vaguely of Undyne.

"well for starters, you could cut me some slack. i've put in enough backbone this week already." Papyrus groans at his brother's pun, getting frustrated at his resistance.

"buuuut....if you agree to clean my room AND yours, then I'll leave right now."

"ONLY IF YOU GET RID OF YOUR SOCK IN THE LIVING ROOM."

"but that's too much work. plus, it's your sock."

"NYEH! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER YOU DROPPING IT THERE!"

"i have no clue what you're talking about."

"SANS!!" Sans leans back in his chair and sighs.

"anyway, the shop needs to be moved in order for us to get more customers. i mean, the middle of nowhere isn't exactly the best location. even the nice cream stands get more business than us, and they barely have any at all!" Papyrus thinks for a moment before he exclaims, "I KNOW HOW WE CAN GET MORE CUSTOMERS!!"

"what bro?" Sans ask's, yawning in the process.

"WE CAN SET UP SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Papyrus said to his brother with a grin.

"i literally just said that."

"WELL, NOW THE IDEA IS EVEN BETTER, AS I, PAPYRUS, APPROVES IT!"

"great, now answer the question this time." Papyrus doesn't even hesitate before yelling again.

"I KNOW THE PERFECT PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET MORE BUSINESS!"

————————————————

"umm, what?" Sans deadpans.

Looming in front of him is the most ridiculous sight he has ever seen. A literal army of mutant cat creatures are all yelling at the top of their lungs at them immediately as he and Papyrus walk in. Sans looks at the first creature he see's. The 'cat' notices him looking, before yelling out boisterously.

"hOIIII! I'm Temmie! And this is my friend, Temmie!" It keeps going. 

"hOIIII! I'm Temmie! And this is my friend, Temmie!" This torture never stops.

"hOIIII! I'm Temmie! And this is my friend!" Their name is Temmie, he supposed.

"Hi, I'm Bob." Oh. Well then. That was quite... Humerus. Awkwardly chuckling to himself at his joke, he looked over at Papyrus with a questioning gaze. Mistaking the gaze, he grinned to himself proudly.

"SEE SANS? THERE ARE MANY CUSTOMERS AROUND HERE! AND LOOK AT THE LOCAL CULTURE! INSPIRING!" Papyrus said proudly, scarf/cape flattering behind him somehow, even without wind.

"yeah, i guess it's alright," Sans shrugs with his eye sockets half-lidded. Papyrus the walls up to the nearest shop and rings a little bell. A grey-haired Temmie slowly raised herself from behind the stand, looking to see who was there. A creepily happy smile was plastered on her face the entire time. "hOIII!!! I'm Temmie! Welcome to the Tem Shop!"

Sans was speechless. Absolutely speechless. Papyrus had mentioned the unique shop owner he would be beside, but this? This was an abomination. It took all that he could to keep the eternal smile stuck on his face as he stared onward, imaginary eyebrow twitching. Both Papyrus and Temmie had genuine smiles on their faces, though one was natural and the other psychotic.

"so, uh, how are you today?" All hell broke loose at that one question.

Temmie starts shaking and convulsing rapidly as she took excited breaths.

"Well first I woke up and yawned so hard I sneezed and then I ate a bunch of Tem flakes which by the way are SOOOO good, but really expensiv cuz Temmie has to go to colleg but anyway, Tem flakes were good! Since I live in the Tem Village it only took me five minutes to get to work, but I said hoi to every Tem on the way here even that weird mushroom Tem and OH BY THE WAY congratulations to the new parent Tem! The Tem egg is doing good! And then-..." It goes on. And on. And on. Sans wanted someone to pinch him as hard as they could. This had to be a nightmare. As Temmie went on about her day, even Papyrus started smiling a bit forcedly. Finally, an eternity later, Temmie finally finished about her day.

"-and then Temmie did the mushroom dance!" She finished, shaking rapidly as she thought about her day. If Sans didn't know better, he would have thought she was epileptic.  
"so," he started tentatively, afraid she would start spewing nonsense again. "i noticed there's an open booth next to yours. is it for sale?" Temmie thought for a second.

"hOIIII, it's for 1000G, so cheap! Then Tem can go to colleg!" Sans looks back at his brother.

"should we get it?"

"YES!" Papyrus seemed glad that he doesn't have to be the one stuck working here. Sans sighs and turns back to Temmie.

"ok, we'll take it," he says, setting 1000G on the table in front of Tem. She eyed the money with a face of pure excitement. Her pupils dilated and she shook rapidly yet again.

"Now Tem can go to colleg!!" Sans stares in horror as Temmie's body walks out of the stall...with her face still floating in the same spot.  
"uh, papyrus? do you see-"  
"YES I DO," he says, staring with more of a confused expression than horrified. 

Not even 10 seconds later, Tem's body comes back into view, attaching itself to her face. She is now wearing a graduation cap. Though, Sans had no idea how, as she was gone for a total of 10 seconds.

"hOIIII!" Temmie burst out, as though we didn't just talk to her 20 seconds ago. "Tem learned to sell new iTem!" Sans sensed a pun in there, but was too confused to say anything. Papyrus wasn't as shocked though, as he groaned instinctively at the pun.

"so, uh, what item is that?" Sans wondered. It seemed as though he drove a nail into his coffin though, as Tem brought out the most ridiculous piece of armor he has ever seen.

"This is called Tem Armor! It is super special!"

Uh. What.

"okay, i guess we'll, uh, leave." Sans said with a face of pure torture. Papyrus quickly agreed, and as they turned around and quickly walked away, they heard an ominous voice in the distance.

"bYEEEE! Come again!"

What did Papyrus get him into.


	2. A Bone to Pick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big bag of NOPE.

'Today is the day. Today is the day that I'm going to have to face my fears.' Sans thought to himself with a shudder. Today was, to Sans’ horror, the first day that Sans was assigned to work. At first, it was a simple matter of him ignoring his alarm clock. After the sixth time of him hitting the snooze, he finally just turned the alarm clock off altogether, slowly watching the time go by, not moving a muscle to start the day. 

At first, it has simply started with Papyrus telling him through the door to get his lazy self up. After twenty minutes of that, he was threatened with a week of duty of feeding their pet rock. After Sans had locked himself in his room for hours upon end, Papyrus finally broke down the door. He bashed the door with his magic, before looking sternly at a lazy Sans.

"SANS, YOU LAZY BONES! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TWO HOURS AGO!" Papyrus shouted, one hand on his hip bone. Sans dead panned him, not moving an inch. "SANS!"

"yeah?" Sans responded.

"GET MOVING!" Papyrus yelled, throwing a stray sock at him in hopes it would make him do something.

"alright." He didn't move an inch yet again.

"BROTHER, DO SOMETHING!" Papyrus yelled exasperated, rubbing the imaginary muscles on his temples as a habit of frustration.

"okay." Sans rolled onto his other side, facing the wall.

"THAT WASN’T WHAT I MEANT!"

"okay." Sans rolled back to where he had been positioned before and stayed there.

"SANS!" Sans looked at Papyrus for a very long time, debating inside his head, before he groaned and sits up. Papyrus let his face go back to normal before quickly reverting back to a moderate level of frustration once he saw he wasn’t standing from his bed.

"why can't you do it?" Sans asked Papyrus, trying to push off the duty of maintaining the hot dog stand to his brother.

"I HAVE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE DOING, LIKE PROVING MYSELF TO UNDYNE AND THE ROYAL GUARD!" Papyrus musters up the best glare he could possibly manage at Sans, which still wasn’t very convincing considering his tolerance towards his brother’s antics.

"IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD, CAN IT? YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. BESIDES, THOSE CAT-THINGS SHOULD MAKE US PLENTY OF MONEY. THEY EVEN HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, JUST LIKE YOU!" Sans stiffens up and goans again. There was no way those things could ever appreciate a joke, even if you slammed them in the face with one. Well, no one would appreciate anything if it got slammed in their face. But Sans spited them, so he ignored that tiny fact for now.

Sans tried to lay back down, before Papyrus gave him that stern mother look. Sans tried to look away, but it was like his brother had sucked him into an eternal void of pure guilt. Smiling grimly to himself at the torture he would have to face, he forces himself out of the bed, almost falling into the twister of garbage while he was at it.

"ok, fine. just give me a second." Papyrus grins, before racing in and hugging his brother in his signature hug of death. After thoroughly suffocating Sans, which he had no idea how he could do that, seeing as he has no lungs, he set Sans down back onto the bed and giving him a radiating smile. He then said the words that he would soon figure out would haunt him for a very long time.

"IT'LL BE FUN!"  
————————————————  
“hOIIII!”

Yeah. Fun.

That was the sound that immediately greeted Sans as he walked through the void into the Temmie village, lugging some last-minute necessities that he had forgotten to bring the first trip. Three out of the four Temmie’s at the entrance of the village greeted him with a mantra of greetings, while one Temmie, the one Sans recognized as Bob, simply said “Hi.” before the Temmie started watching boredly at one of the Temmie’s on the other side of the village try to sit on an egg to keep it warm. Sans looked on with faint interest, as the Temmie cracked the egg from her weight. Freaking out, she patched it up with scotch tape before, looking satisfied, proceeded to try and sit on the egg again.

Sans cracked a disbelieving smile at that, before looking at Bob, who was doing the same thing, if a bit more accepting of it as a normal occurrence. He nodded at Bob with pity, walking with regret towards the section which contained his and the shopkeeper Temmie’s shops. When he walked in, the overwhelming scent of Tem flakes invaded his nostrils. Or, you know, where they would be. If he had a nose.

As Sans looked around, his expression of disgust slowly turned into one of horror. There were Tem flakes everywhere. Boxes upon boxes were stacked upon the walls, floors, and even on Temmie herself. Speaking of Temmie. She was doing the most absurd thing he had seen her do the entire time he had spent with her. Sans had seen her go to college, and he thought that was bad.

He had to walk around to the other side of the booth, just to get the full picture of what the hell he was looking at. Temmie was on the floor, her ears and hair laid out around her, completely covered with Tem flakes. She was laughing hysterically, not even noticing Sans walk in. Or maybe she did know, but she just didn’t care. While her body was shaking rather hard, her face was shaking so fast Sans was pretty sure it had entered another dimension entirely a few times.

“uh, hello?” Sans called out, staring blankly at the scene in front of him. When she didn’t respond, he said her name. “Temmie?”

Time stood still. She immediately locked up, her convulsions stopping, as she stared at Sans with an expression he wasn’t able to quite determine. Sans waved his hand in front of Temmie’s face, checking to make sure she was still conscious. After a few times, he finally gave up and went over to his own stand, preparing to set up for the day, not paying any more mind to the monster next to him. The pile of Tem flake boxes had made their way over here, but as long as Temmie stay’s over there, he’s good. Whistling, he set up the condiments, taking a bottle of ketchup for himself from the stash. Right as he finished getting ready, he noticed a figure walking into the shop area.

He saw Temmie immediately shoot up, her ‘regular’ (not so regular) smile back in place. Even amidst all of the mess everywhere, and the fact that she had just looked like she was in the middle of a mid life crisis, she spoke out her familiar “hOIIII! I’m Temmie! Welcome to the Tem shop!”

Sans watched as Napstablook appeared, eyes looking downtrodden as ever. Though that was never really a sign of his emotions, after all, he always looked like that. He eyed Temmie as the two conversed, and after what felt like an eternity, Napstablook floated over to his own stall.

“hey.” Sans greeted him, squirting a bit of the ketchup bottle into his mouth. Napstablook faintly said the same to him, eyes looking warily at the Tem flakes behind Sans’ shop. Looking back up, Napstablook spoke. “How has… uh… Temmie been to you?”

Sans had to mentally hold himself back from telling everything about the experiences with the monster behind the booth that he’d rather forget. Instead, he settled for a pun. “let’s just say that nothing can… get under my skin.” He pointed to his obviously skinless arms, eliciting a chuckle from Napstablook. The both of them chuckled for a second, before Napstablook finally ordered something. Right as he was about to leave, Sans finally asked Napstablook the question.

“so, uh, napstablook?” He called out to him. “what exactly are those hotdogs for?” Napstablook looked back “My snail farm.” He drawled, before turning around yet again and walking out of the room, leaving him with an oddly normal Temmie. Sans looked over, almost scared to break the silence.

“i heard you like tem flakes.” Smooth, Sans. Real smooth. He looked over to the other booth, to find Temmie eyeing the Tem flakes with pure need. Deciding to try again, he completely changed his approach. “anything you want to share about today?” Now this he got a reaction out of.

“hOIIII!!! First Tem went to buy more items for shop!”

“yeah, keep going.” Sans said, a devious plan forming in his mind.

“They had so many different kinds of Tem flakes!! But Temmie wanted to save up for colleg, before Tem realized she already went to colleg!” Tem said proudly. She chatted rapidly, seeming to be going back into the excited mess she was earlier in the day.

“Now that Temmie doesn’t have to save money for colleg, I bought every single Tem flake box there was!!! I’m so proud!” This was his chance. Smiling, he casually leaned his head on one hand and made his move.

“yeah, temmie about it.”

Silence.

Even more silence.

It had become unbearable. Sans looked over across the room, and burst out laughing once he saw her expression. If he had tear ducts, he would have been crying.

A look of pure, unadulterated horror was eternally plastered on Temmie’s face. She was stock still. Her eyes were the largest he had ever seen, permanently staring at him. He exploded with laughter, slamming his face in his crossed arms on the table, trying to stifle the sound coming from his mouth.

Once he looked back up again, he found that Temmie had disappeared from her store, nowhere to be found. Finally regaining his calm, he smiled, gazing at the walls, faintly thinking an insane thought in his mind.

‘Maybe this won’t be entirely torturous after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's MochiofDoom here, with another chapter. The other author, catidiot, wrote the first half of the chapter, and I wrote the second. I really hope you guys like this chapter, I spent a long time going over it and fixing things. Oh, one more thing. I have to admit, that last scene right there was inspired by a comic on Tumblr by the user coulsart. It's AMAZING, so I would highly recommend shifting through her Tumblr to read it. If you have anything you want to say, there's a button for that you know. ;D

**Author's Note:**

> You are filled with deTemination. 
> 
> It's MochiofDoom here! Me and my friend catidiot decided to write fanfiction one day at 12 in the morning, and this was born! It's going to be a not so serious series about the horrors of the Tem village.
> 
> Hi, I'm catidiot. Like Mochi said, we both wrote this thing at midnight and had no idea what we were doing. But, surprisingly, it's a pretty decent fanfic in our eyes. Hope you enjoy! Also, this is our first story on here, so any constructive criticism is welcome.
> 
> Remember, stay pawsome!


End file.
